#like i was having a pretty neutral day
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You know the Good Omens announcement really kinda ruined the rest of my day and I didn't think it would have that much of an impact on me
#like i was having a pretty neutral day#i didn't sleep very well last night but it's okay#but then this evening i'm really feeling either numb or just like shit and k was trying to figure out why#and really the shift happened when i read about the 'movie'#so yea :/#sucks i guess#i'll go to sleep earlier tonight#tomorrow is a new day#lea's random thoughts#good omens
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Beetle you should absolutely make a warriors sona at some point if you haven't already, I would love to draw them hehe - cricket
just so happens ive been meaning to design/redesign my warriors sona for a few weeks now... i drew this version like Once way back in december but otherwise this thang is Fresh out the Oven!!!
now YOU better get to making one so i can draw YOURS!!!!
#while designing this i sat and thought 'hmm is this too mary-sue main character?'#and then i thought 'oh damn. who gives a shit'#my guy has always been orange since day ONE but the tortie patterns are a little newer#and the name is newer too! very first name i picked was Amberleaf i think ... then i remember Tumbleweed but i like beetleblaze a lot now#art#fallenasks#cricketclan#i had a lot of fun incorporating my irl scars and blemishes into this design actually#i feel like i usually have a pretty neutral facial expression on account of the Autism but i like to draw smiles so. :)
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Currently obsessing over the idea of an 80s Boyfriends animatic with the "You'll Be Back" song, like I can see it so freaking well with all of Turbo's different forms as the song progresses, like-- "You say our love is draining and you can't go on, you'll be the one complaining when I am gone" HELLO???????? AND THE "ROYAL SUBJECT" PART?????????? THE "LOVE YOU TILL MY DYING DAYS, KILL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ETC." PART AS A CY-BUG???????????????? SEND HELP PLEASE I'M LOSING MY MIND
#wreck it ralph#turbo#felix#80s boyfriends#Maybe I'll do this one day if I ever have the time or energy for it but probably not lol#I don't even like Hamilton and I'm a pretty neutral enjoyer of the ship but this thought has been stuck in my head for days#so I am dropping it here into the void before I go to bed lol bye#My Stuff
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Rice. From my plot that's literally just a game of chess. (he's a rook)
#my characters#CHESS BABIES#they actually had a tag here and i adore it bc it was in caps lock for a while#no idea why it was in caps but whatever it was thems the rules#rice has a younger sister named turnip and shes a pawn and then his coworker rook is a guy named cakes#and cakes has a huuuuuuge crush on him and doesnt think to hide it so rice just kinda puts up with it and then somehow#they meet with one of the white knights and are like well he seems mostly harmless#and since they dont attack or try to kill him he decides hes actually in love with rice as well so cakes is like oh no#im going to lose my years long crush to some foreign guy#but the white knight is just vibing cause out of the entire white army he has the least stake in it bc he was born in the land of red#so he doesnt really care but since one of his parents was a white native he got recruited kinda#look it sounds so bad to have colored nations and them being white black and red#but its chess i swear and my dad had a REALLY FUCKING NICE wooden chess set when i was a kid#and it was AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL and each piece had red felt on the bottom to about scuffing the pretty wood board#anyway thats where the neutral land idea came from - all of his pieces had SOME red on them#and now i gotta go to work for more video orientation#guys theres been so many videos in the past two days#i have no energy for art#i have so many things i wanna draw but i havent managed to actually do anything yet#i need a fuckin schedule.....
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Was thinking about who would get Tuvixed from other series and came up with Phlox and Florida Man for Enterprise
#I genuinely cannot remember his name#I know it's in there somewhere#tuvix = 1 weird little guy + 1 pretty well liked and fairly straight laced guy#guy is gender neutral in these tags#I know it's Conner Trineer and he is ent's special boy... but character name was obliterated from memory#I know I have the internet in my hands trying to remember is more interesting atm#just gonna wait and see how long I have to think about it before I remember his name#on day 2 of a migraine let's gooooo#tuvix discourse
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Concept for if Bethesda loved the other Companions same as old tricky dick
Gage; a dlc that doesn't kinda suck actually, but also properly explores what being a raider entails, and what kind of people end up as one. I don't think you could actually redeem him, but I'd like that idea to be directly confronted, as least. I've talked about this before but it's wasted potential that you can't make the Nuka Gang confront the fact that Oh Shit The Farmers Are Now Dangerous
Deacon: I don't think he needs his own side quest or even DLC, but I'd like him to have side quests attached to him, a la Nick's detective cases sidequests. He's a spy. Pls let us do spy shit
Piper: Same as Deacon, but I think she actively needs a sidequest. Her character gimmick, her plot purpose, and her actual affinity talks are so unrelated it's painful. Let her journalism actually be content, not just a bit of trivia about her. A set of side quests + a personal quest that addresses Diamond City's Problems with a capital P. Lots of societal issues in that little space and we do nothing with any of it.
Preston: just fix the Minutemen and give this man a goddamn break. The Minutemen just need a rehaul, so as to not have him be the quest giver. And give him other stuff to do! I wanna actually fight the Gunners! Bring up and address the failures of the old Minutemen!!! Please!!!
X6-88: give the bitch something oh my God. Much like Gage, I don't think you can convince him to let go of the Institute, but give us a CHANCE. Emil just seems so scared to ask hard questions and use interesting concepts.
Danse; finish his arc you thots (also I think Fallout 4 really lacks some humanizing/soft moments in the world and I think Danse would be a good. Subject? For them. Like a shelter dog getting to play with ducklings. Idk but I have a vision)
MacCready: they forgot that his whole point was having a whole ass baby. Give him his child wtf.
Strong; delete
Codsworth; stronger plot presence. This robot raised that old bitch let him throw hands. Also, if you wanted to put quests in Sanctuary that spawn up as the town develops, Codsworth would be a great quest giver and tagalong as you try and keep the piece and set up some kind of society.
Curie; I've said it before. I'm saying again. Curies whole deal should have been a major plot point. She's a robot that becomes human and develops human feelings with human biology. This is not important to any faction leader. What on earth.
Cait; yall fuckin know how I feel about Cait but honestly, her personal quest sucks so much I'd rather they didn't. Just give her more and better affinity talks. She needs more time to open up and develop, and 4 conversations is not enough.
Hancock; I have quite a few nitpicks about Hancock but the fact that Micky D getting ganked and being revealed to be a synth DOESNT MATTER is insane. Macdonough's last interaction with Hancock was crucial to his character arc and not letting that circle around is so, so miserable. Also, I want politically-charged quests. Campaigning! Discussions on economy! He's a mayor of this weird little anarchy town, let us play in that space.
#i cannot believe nick got his own dlc#like. i KNEW. i KNOW. but like#WOW.#THE FAVORITISM.#HE WAS THE MOST DEVELOPED ONE ALREADY GUYS#THATS NOT SAYING MUCH BUT HE STILL HAD A LOT MORE LEGWORK PUT IN#SPARE A CRUMB OF DEVELOPMENT PLS#im pretty neutral to nick but i actively like him less#knowing that hes the golden child#the one that gets pizza hut after football practice but the others get papa johns#idk im so fuckin tired#i have a three day weekend and all i wanna do is get back to work#i am NOT a downtime person
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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Okay, here's the thing.
I'll be living alone. I think I'd like to have a dog in the house that is a little scarier than Sprocket is. There is a GSD breeder I have my eye on. She has 2 litters rn, tho, and I'm not sure if there are any pups that haven't been placed yet, but also I don't wanna raise a puppy right now. So......here I am, on petfinder, looking at shepherd looking creatures and cooing because I can't help myself.
#barkin up some trees#i keep saying no more rescues#but like#an adult dog is more appealing rn#oh and also rollei apparently came face to face with sissy the shop cat the other day and all he did was sniff her#so there is a possibility he could live in the house after all#but i don't trust him enough to keep him inside while i'm not home tho#i think he would trash things#so he would have to live outside whenever i'm at work#but idk we will see#i wish i had a dog neutral cat i could use to test him#puter is pretty dog neutral but mostly with dogs he knows and are chill and rollei is not chill
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The more I develop the magic system and magic lore for the Septarsis Dragonfly AU, the more Glossaryck is shaping up to be more and more actively villainous and explicitly antagonistic.
It’s kind of fascinating.
#svtfoe#star vs the forces of evil#septarsis dragonfly au#sir glossaryck of terms#I really always meant for him to maintain his neutral position#but the more I’m developing the more actively shitty he’s becoming#and he was always pretty bad don’t get me wrong#with him refusing to do Jack shit during Solaria’s genocide because of what he calls politics#and creating the MHC#AND ALL THAT#but he’s slowly becoming so much more villainous#esp in the beginning of the timeline#like. holy shit.#I don’t wanna make bro the main villain (he isn’t and won’t be)#but goddamn!!#he’s not just an inactive player watching shit go down#he’s puppeting everything#Glossaryck in the early days is such an actual active villain#maybe I’ll play with him chilling out over the years but not changing his fundamental shittiness#andromeda and milky way have a LOT to clean up
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How to explain to everyone that I feel a lack of drive and motivation and general apathy to my future because I don't feel generally excited and have a complete lack of interest in anything
#Me when the mental illness is mental illnessing#I hate winter the most for it#I want to feel this want and need to start working and apply for scholarships and get my licenses#But I can't bring myself to really...care#I'd like all those things but I don't want to start the process to do it all#Not to also mention I haven't been enthusiastic about IRL stuff in ages#It's just been a blur of repetitive days full of either complete empty neutrality or anxiety#Can I have an emotion for once#Pretty please with a cherry on top?#tw vent#vent
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#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart#on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me#but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents#leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing#if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney#at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious#intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops#functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant#obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom#but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was#meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood#but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual.#i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more#we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week#its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die#so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her#computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to#before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the#feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird#unrelated
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so i can find this again. finally bit the bullet and changed my kjs city names to differentiate them from my ocs so:
party — ash london coleman (ooo lady fagita)
kobra — james “jamie” eric coleman
jet — danielle “dani” camila reyes-yoon
ghoul — edward “eddie” maxwell mochizuki ii
#pi's personal#danger days#hcs#<- so i can find it#erica i literally don’t want to hear anything about it okay.#getting shot and killed for kinnie crimes#damien as a name was derived from father karras from the exorcist so why not give him a different gayboy horror movie name#my backup name for the siblings was blackwell but i prefer being a kinnie thank you#for party it was close between max and ash#max is cuter imo but that would make their deadname MAXINE. sorry to any maxines out there but we#do NOT like it.#thanks#i judged it in part based on what gender neutral names i would change mine to if i didn’t like the associations with my birthname#and i like max better but ALAS#unrelated but my parents already have trouble with my pronouns i feel like their brains would explode if i changed my name also#and yes ghoul is named after his dad. his family buys big into bli’s way of life with conformity and gender roles as a part of it#these names might actually be better than the old ones. with the exception of alex party will always kind of be alex to me#but these have more thought behind them. yippee#party’s struggles with not feeling feminine or pretty enough as a girl thus traumatizing them and feeding into their eating disorder etc etc#and their mother named them ASHLEY LONDON. YIKES GIRL#party seeing who’s first in their class and ooh it’s ‘edward maxwell mochizuki#the SECOND’. oh lah di dah. that might make them hate him even more tbqh. rich boy ass name#jamie is still jamie just a nickname for james instead of jamison#also i think party’s name changes from ashley -> asher when they transition in the city but they go by ash because. gender#if erie finds this post and hunts me down for sport it was nice knowing all of you
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I sent this one long ago to my friends and they laughed at me cause i put ander s second to last after talking about him non stop for weeks
this is the updated version after replaying da2 btw:
also the tier here
#“i like them a normal amount” like i have not cried about wynne ever#that is the normal amount#talks and stuff#the neutral zone is just like. not my cup of tea or didnt interact with them much#the funniest it s the jump of “i fucking hate justice” to “my pal justice my bro ;;” after replaying awakening and then da2 dfgojidgfojidgf#anyways when i replay dai probs. this will also change#carver might also change if i replay the game with him alive honestly i wanna do it#he deserves a second chance from my impressions from 10 years ago#some charas also get higher the more i think about them (wynne)#i was also like ok seb im gonna give u a second chance here#and then all his missions were voiceless OTL i though his dlc was fine so i didnt update it rip so that didnt help#and then i was like aaah whatever i will keep playing i guess????#i do appreciate his scenes at the end of the game tho is pretty epic#i have never played the game without him and i cant even imagine it without him there
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the hr person from the last interview has asked to call me on TEAMS........ im so scared
#not until 2pm so i have like 3.5 hours to be anxious abt it 🥰 but Girl.#I wish she'd said straight up in the email why she wanted to call bc it seems like a lot for a rejection call. but also surely if-#it was a possible offer to discuss she would mention that in the email.....Man#also if its a rejection id rather just have an email or a phone call w feedback bc it feels kind of mean for them to watch me react#not that i would react on call i think id be pretty neutral abt it but like. auuurghhh#also she didnt contact me until 6:30pm yesterday i think if it was an offer i wouldve heard abt it earlier in the day#what is going ooooonnn............#im not getting my hopes up either way. maybe she wants to put me forward elsewhere again or theyre offering voluntary experience or smth#no point thinking abt it too much we'll see what happens..#.diaries
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i feel im too kind and sensitive for most people
#why are people so cruel in their own heads? isnt it more fun to accept everyone? be happy ? forgive?#heavy on the forgive? bc like#ur friend is less social ... goes apart... they're acting weird... theyre being distant... GIRL I WANT TO SHAKE YOU. THEYRER SAD.#forgive. forgive the distance.#what if something bad happened like.. death? stress? everyone grieves and heals differently#(or maybe its the overt and hidden transphobia and queerphobia#and the gossip obsession)#how do i tell this to someone so that they dont get mad? like in reality and in all brutal honesty youre being a fucking asshole? like?#everyone is gonna take anything like so badly no matter how softly and emphatically i set it up...#i wanna defend people but im too much of a coward. fuck#i may be sensitive but the world is so susceptible#how can you have such averse reactions to your own fucking judgement where u decided everything that u didnt get or try to get was bad#world so beautifully neutral and you assess so much goodness and badness to everything#unfortenatly u all find me funny and i am scared of being alone so i will satnd unmoving#maybe one day ill say waht i think and lose you all and be sad and alone again but at least i think im pretty kind and tolerant#sigh#me soup
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btw sorry I've been dead I miss you guys 🙏🏻
#been focusing on the upcoming college thing recently. also life has been going pretty good#sorry im only here when things are bad#life has been very neutral. maybe ill have some good news for you guys soon!#ive gotten really into sewing!! i actually bought some fabric today!! gonna make a skirt out of it :)#been writing poetry again!! i think i wrote a pretty good one yesterday#got REALLY into hozier... like 1500 scrobbles in the past 7 days... im so normal about my interests!!#my fashion sense has been changing and im not 100% sure how i feel about it#so has my music taste#things have been changing! cant wait for the time change tonight i miss the sun#thats all i can think of right now but ill try to be back more soon :)
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